Dr. Spine

Ok, so  at some point during the process of my most recent move (the 17^th move of my life to be exact), I injured my back! Now, that’s not to uncommon so don’t flip out and worry for me.

My injury brought me to a chiropractor and those experiences have brought me to blog.

The first time I went to Dr. Spine (what we will call him for the purpose of this blog) he said, “Ok, let’s take a look at that butt! I mean, back.” If you have seen me in person, you know that my ass has an identity of it’s own. It’s pretty big and used to be a source of insecurity, but as I’ve become a woman, I have learned to embrace it. My ass was thankful to be noticed by Dr. Spine.

The first time I went, Dr, Spine worked on me for over an hour (I was there for two hours). I began feeling much better!

The next time that I found myself on the table, Dr. Spine had gas. My face was planted in the table so fortunately he couldn’t see my facial reaction to his poots and cheerful “Oh! Excuse me”s! I didn’t respond which might be rude… but gas isn’t something I like to draw attention to. I get totally awkward around it.

My back continued to feel better and I kept going back. On one of my trips, Dr. Spine learned that I commute solely via bicycle. He asked me to get a different seat and described a cruiser seat. He said, “Can’t you get a seat that is …(and with his hands air-outlined the shape of a large cruiser seat)?”

“Do you mean a big seat?” I asked for clarification.

“Well yea!” He confirmed.

“Look, I know I have a big ass, but I think my seat is alright.”

“Well, don’t you want a bigger seat?”

“No.”

“Hmm.”

“Ya, mine is really comfortable and it’s made of memory foam.”

“You should get a seat that is (and again air drew a very large cruiser seat without saying a word).”

I didn’t respond.

We said goodbye.

The next time I went in for an adjustment was my most recent trip.

While I was on the table in an uber relaxed state I heard Dr. Spine say, “Wow! You look really good today! 

Did you get that different seat?! It doesn’t look like you’re all that out of alignment!”

“No, I didn’t get another seat… I think you’re just a really good chiropractor and I think my spine likes what you do.”

“So you didn’t get that seat…”

I didn’t respond.

“Well…(5 second pause)… let’s think about what you can do with that bike…(another  5 second silence)….You could be a bicycle delivery girl!”

“Ya! I have imagined that several times. I already have a bicycle cart that I use to do my recycling, laundry, and grocery shopping and I am confident I can pull at least 90 pounds.” I managed to moan out from my deeply relaxed state. When I get on that table and he starts adjusting me I feel like a cat. I could just melt into it and never get up. I’m sure I’d eventually have to because I’d get hungry but oh my!!

“You could work as one of those people who rides a bike in a gym!”

“You mean a spin instructor?”

“Ya! That’s what I mean.” He agreed.

When I realized that he was actually trying to make bicycle career suggestions after I added, “Ya, I’m very interested in getting certified to instruct fitness and would love to incorporate a fitness regime into my career as a therapist one day.” I had just explained that I was interested in becoming a therapist moments before getting on the table.

As interesting as my adventures have been at Dr. Spine’s office, I must say, I really enjoy going and I like him a lot too!