Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman Project Explanation

Howdy!

Few of you know that I am currently taking a break from dating to become a woman.

Yes, that sounds crazy, but let me explain so that you can fully appreciate my intentions.

When Marshall and I broke up in March, I knew I needed a break! I needed time to grieve (which sadly, I'm still doing 7 months later) and mature past some issues that I've recognized in myself. So I set a date, a special date to give myself a deadline for grief and growth.

Between now and 12-12-12 (you know how I am about weird dates... I couldn't help myself... even if it did extend my no dating fast 6 months... plus, it's right before my birthday), I am going to work on a long, simple, and direct list of goals that will enable me to become the woman I'd like to be when I start dating again... and just the woman I want to be for life.

I intend to blog about many of these goals during the next year and a half. It will hold me accountable, hopefully provide entertainment for some of the people who read this, and it gives me something to write about (sometimes I worry that I have nothing to say... and maybe I don't... in that case, it's a space filler).

I have divided my goals into 9 life categories:
1. Academic
2. Occupational
3. Physical
4. Mental
5.  Spiritual
6. Environmental
7. Social
8. Emotional
9. Relational

Each category has between 2-12 goals ranging from short term (easy) goals to accomplish to long term (hard) goals to focus on over the course of the entire no dating fast. Each goal has assigned steps for the purpose of making the goal easier to attain and understand. I feel like when you break a goal up into steps, it's easier to anticipate problems and form a game plan.

You may be asking, "Why no dating? Why can't you accomplish all of this and date at the same time?" Well, it's simple... dating typically absorbs a lot of time, energy, and emotions that I'm not interested in spending right now. I feel by setting a specific time table, I will not casually fall into the temptation to date. By setting a date to grieve and grow, I won't choose to start dating just because I'm lonely or because I am bored. I won't date for the wrong reasons.

So far, it's been 7 months into the no dating "fast" or break. Even recently, I have become aware of some of the reasons and ways that I have used dating in the past to numb my pain and cope with some insecurities I have. When I start dating again, I don't want to do it because I have a need to do it, I want to do it because I have a desire. I want to become an independent, secure woman so that I can be the best wife and helper. I don't want my boyfriend and/or future husband to be the person I use to confirm that I have value or that I'm worthy of love. I want to know that I'm me and I'm God's and that I am my spouses delight, apart from my performance. Hopefully that's clear... I feel like I'm starting to run in circles.

I do hope you enjoy!