Dolly and Donte's Gardening Adventure

Once there was a little one bedroom apartment in a little town within a big city. In the apartment lived two kittens named Dolly and Donte. Dolly and Donte had  a pet human in addition to a tank full of pet fish that were also good substitutes for dinner and/or boredom, which came often for cats as brilliant as Dolly and Donte.

See, brilliant cats have working minds. Working minded animals must alternate between constant stimulation and deep undisturbed nap times.

After one of her long and undisturbed naps, Dolly woke up one day and thought to herself, “It must be very pleasant outside because the sun is shining, the colors on the leaves are bright, and my human looks like she is ready to go out.” Dolly decided to herself that the human could use a little fresh air, so she went to the glass door that lead to the back porch of the little apartment that sat in the middle of the little town that was encompassed by the big city.

Dolly stood on two legs and put her front paws on the window. She looked around at the human who was busy trying to find something to watch on the mundane TV. Dolly begin to paw at the window. The human noticed but didn’t get up to open the door. So Dolly kept pawing and pawing and scratching and scratching; faster and faster she went until the human laughed, stood up, and opened the door.

“Thank you human”, Dolly said in her most lady like voice just before delicately stepping onto the wood patio.

“WAIT!!!” Donte meowed as he ran past Dolly to get outside.

“Excuse you Donte.” Dolly reminded Donte of the appropriate necessity of manners… but being a young kitten, Donte’s focus on manners was fleeting. He jumped onto the large pot that contained the cool, moist dirt bed for the baby palm tree that his human tried so desperately to save the last fall. Unfortunately for the human, the cold weather had froze the tree into a limp, sad little plant that barely stood crooked.

“Donte, I’ve been thinking…” Dolly waited for his acknowledgement of her segue into a deeper conversation.

Donte was to busy pulling dead leaves off the dead plants that stood lifeless in the pots on the pot shelf.

“Donte, please… this is very serious.”

“I’m listening…” Donte barely whispered through his forest of other ideas.

“Donte, I’d like to take up gardening. I want to dig up that tree immediately. The dirt would make a perfect bed for cat nip and grass and we could make a little place to lay down in the sun… oh Donte, wouldn’t that be fabulous?!”

Donte whipped his head and body around so that he was facing Dolly as a soldier faces his commanding officer before receiving orders, “Can I help dig?!”  

Dolly thought for a moment…and another moment just for a dramatic effect, “Yes Donte. You may HELP dig, but remember, the human will not understand why we are digging up this tree, so we must use discretion about how we go about it.”

The cats began digging feverishly. They dug until the tree fell over and hit the fence!

“What is going on out here?!” the human asked as she peaked her head out of the door to check on the cats.

Dolly and Donte froze.

“Donte… don’t move a muscle. If we don’t move she can’t see us.”

Donte froze as if he had been frozen in the arctic for the last 2 million years. Dolly could swear he quit breathing.

The human walked over to them, “Oh… my tree! You cats have been digging.” The human picked up frozen Donte who didn’t move even one hair, “Oh you’re covered in dirt!” the human complained as she wiped the dirt off his tummy, feet, and sides. She put Donte down in the house and he stood still, frozen.

“Oh Dolly! You two!” As the human began to pick Dolly up, Dolly surprised herself with a slight hiss that quickly turned into a moan. Dolly was perfectly capable of gardening and cleaning herself off… she was no longer a kitten and didn’t care to be discredited as a talented gardener.

“Humans don’t know anything about plants… Dolly complained to Donte as the human sat her down in the little apartment’s living room. “Well, I suppose it’s time for a nap.” Dolly stated.

And that was the story of the time Dolly and Donte decided to garden.